Family

أنت لا تختار عائلتك. إنهم هدية من الله لك. كما أنت بالنسبة لهم.

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

 

It’s very different how we treat our families. How we view them and how we perceive them in context to our own future.

For me, aside from being a constant reminder of the past, they’ve also been a constant group of people that aside from sharing our genetic make-up and most of our pasts, they’ve also grew on as a foreseen future.

I simply can’t imagine a future house without theirs in the neighborhood.

I’ve thought maybe that is what happens when there is a sense of constancy in your existence. It is hard to outgrew deeply embedded constant variables. I do not mind at all though. Even when sometimes being together always is too much. Or apart, too near. Now as I grew older I tend to appreciate more the varying proximity.

In retrospect, though times were at times hard and some grew worse, I’ve learned my own definition of family. They’re the ones who never left.

These days, I’m watching my once so little sisters in college preparing for their future. They’re discussing their types of houses and field of professions now. Sometimes, snippets of how they were as either cherubs or gremlins pops from my memory as I look and listen. I never had any affinity for milk. But I loved making bottles for them and ironing their clothes, even matching everything they use. I use Powerpuff girls since they’re three. It’s perfect! Have you ever experienced that? It’s quite fulfilling. I’ve been with these kids and rearing them that I’d tend to be stricter than their parents. They’re both busy as we grew up. Looking back, I can’t remember that I minded though. Neither did they, I guess.

I got two brothers. The older on is insufferable at times but you know, you can’t actually complain much because there is no doubt he’s only looking after you in his own way. That’s the greatest thing about families, I think. Knowing from experience and seldom in words in our case that if there’s anyone who’d wish for you the best it would be them. Knowing that even when they know the darkest parts of you known to man, they’d still be there. Just there. No pushing. No words. Letting you be.

With my younger brother, I do get those memory of a little kid always running and smiling while doing exactly what I told him not to do. He got those chinky eye smile as a fat kid on his jumpers and toothless grin. Maybe that is why even when he grew up quite responsibly that any older sister can be more than proud of, I just can’t forget the kid I grew up with. For an older sister, a baby brother would always be a baby brother. I do respect him as a person though. His decisions. Patience and work ethics. I often wonder if he’s this kind some people will eventually try to do mean things to him. I knew from experience he’d let them be countless of times. As well as I’d be  the one asking for blood. Figuratively speaking.

I’d say it’s one of God’s privilege I get to grow up with my siblings. To need another person’s existence an be needed as well. And they’re quite a great group of people. They’ve been so oblivious how great they are as a person. Always so silent. So giving. And mindful. I’m actually the loudest in my most frugal siblings. If you can even call someone like me so sharing. The ironies.

And parents. If there is anyone to whom I considered the greatest teachers thus far it would be them. They’ve taught me to be extra cautious in every aspect of life. Family, friends, foes, finance, futures… Everything. It’s true what they say in history, it tends to repeat itself. And they’re written for us to never make the same mistakes. I’ve also seen that in their own way, as diverse and intricate a person can be, they did their best to raise us. As most parents ever did to their children. As right and perfect that their entire beings can ever give. Understanding that, it took me awhile.

No family is perfect. It is in its own functional definition. And you either can see the best in you with them or not. Entirely up to you. Either way, in the end, you create your own future. Might as well make it worth your while.

As my first blog in this domain, I think it’s fitting. Family cometh first.

 

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